After Yoochun is done crying, he calls Yoohwan.
"Yoohwan-ah," he says. "I'm staying here until Friday."
Monday is - was Jaejoong's, and Yoochun guessed Tuesday to Thursday would be the others'. Friday, he decided, would be for himself.
"Umma says remember to sleep." Yoohwan tells him.
"I know," Yoochun answers.
After he hangs up, he slips into the bedroom he once shared with Jaejoong and onto his bed.
He dreams of Jaejoong, and when he wakes up, the taste of Jaejoong's bulgogi is still on his tongue.
Yoochun survives on leftover biscuits and coffee for breakfast.
At ten fifty-seven, he goes out to write lyrics by the Han River, Jaejoong's singing still clogging up his mind and heart.
At twelve oh-four, he buys a Popsicle, smiling at the memory of Junsu's tongue-sticking-out-before-eating habit.
At twelve thirty-three, a fan stops him, her eyes calm, doe-like as she asks quietly for his signature.
Yoochun shakes his head politely, says, "There isn't Dong Bang Shin Ki anymore, I'm sorry."
"But there is still Dong Bang Shin Ki in our hearts," the fan says, inclining her head to meet Yoochun's eyes. "And in oppa's heart, too."
Yoochun signs the photo, of the five of them still caught in teenage adolescence during their Hug days.
"Who was your favourite?" Yoochun asks, out of curiosity.
"Junsu-oppa."
"Junsu would have liked you," Yoochun tells her. It's the truth - she is small, petite, large eyes brightening her slightly-round face. Junsu's type.
The fan smiles, her cheeks turning pink. "Thank you, Yoochun-oppa."
Yoochun shrugs, waves, and heads home.
At one oh-eight, Yoochun sits on the swings at the park near their apartment.
At one eleven, Yoochun runs home.
At one thirteen, Yunho opens the door for Yoochun.
"How have you been without us?" Yunho says conversationally.
"Fine. Okay. I don't know. Fine?" Yoochun says.
Yunho sighs. "So what are you going to do now?"
"Um, I'm talking to you?" Yoochun raises his eyebrows.
"Not now now," Yunho tuts. "As in, your future without Dong Bang Shin Ki."
Yoochun swallows, forces a smile. "Hyung," he says. "Dong Bang Shin Ki is still in everyone's hearts."
Yunho is still Yunho, whether dead or alive, so he sits cross-legged on the couch reading the newspaper.
Yoochun works on his lyrics, glancing from the memo pad in his hand to Yunho every minute or so.
"Our funeral was good, huh." Yunho muses, his finger tapping against his chin.
Yoochun shrugs abashedly. "I kind of missed most of it."
"Depression?" Yunho coughs to hide his grin.
Yoochun glares at him. "Well, I was, until all of you started showing up in my lonely life."
"All of us?" Yunho repeats, narrowing his eyes. "Who else?"
"Not all," Yoochun amends. "Just you, and Jaejoong visited yesterday."
"So Junsu and Changmin will probably show up over the next few days?" Yunho asks.
"Probably, yeah." Yoochun nods. "Judging from you and Jaejoong's rate of showing up," he adds dryly.
"Yoochun-ah." Yunho says. "Honestly, I'm not sure whether this," he gestures towards himself. "Is good for you."
"I am not depressed, hyung." Yoochun tells him tiredly.
Yunho smiles. "But you have to learn to move on without us, Yoochun."
Something inside Yoochun snaps.
"Do you think I haven't tried?" Yoochun says loudly, close to shouting.
"I've done almost everything to forget you guys! You four have it easy - you're gone without any more burdens, but me? I'm still here! Learning to survive without you!"
Yoochun hasn't even realised that he's standing up until Yunho stands, too, and pats him on the back reassuringly, his touch cool, even through the fabric of Yoochun's shirt.
"I can't do this," Yoochun crumples back onto the sofa. "Why? Why am I the only one who's left behind?"
"Believe me, Yoochun-ah." Yunho worries his lip before saying, "If we had a choice, we'd never have left you behind."
The tears burn their way down his cheeks as he curls into a ball, as if doing this can prevent him from falling apart.
"Micky Yoochun, always the crybaby." Yunho teases gently.
Yoochun feels like his heart is breaking bit by bit, but he lifts his head up to offer a smile to Yunho, because he has to learn to be stronger without his Leader-sshi.
Yoochun spends the last few hours with Yunho composing.
Yoochun tells Yunho about the song he is writing about the five of them, Dong Bang Shin Ki which has ceased to exist.
Yunho insists he has to hear it, sings the lyrics while Yoochun plays the piano.
"You haven't finished the lyrics?" Yunho says while the melody still flows around them.
Yoochun stops playing. "I've only finished Jaejoong's part, you see."
"Four more to go." Yunho says, smiling.
"Three." Yoochun corrects, tugging the paper with scribbled words back from Yunho's hands.
Yunho doesn't let go. "Have you forgotten yourself?" He demands.
"Hyung," Yoochun says. "I've got myself for a long, long time. It's the four of you I want to remember."
"Dong Bang Shin Ki will always be five." Yunho reminds. Then he glances away, points a finger at the bathroom. "I'm going to the toilet."
"Okay," Yoochun agrees absent-mindedly, turning his gaze back towards the piano.
It takes two and a half minutes and the beep of the clock until Yoochun wonders if ghosts really need to use the toilet.
When he races down the hallway and flings open the door, Yunho is gone.
Yoochun cries to sleep with his head against the door, breathing in the last vestiges of Jung Yunho.
Yoochun realises it when a soccer ball rolls into his room.
He glances up, meeting a pair of twinkling eyes and a bright smile.
"Yoochunnie!" Junsu says, his voice high as he rushes in and hugs Yoochun.
Yoochun breathes in the familiar scent of Junsu, fingers bunching up Junsu's shirt.
Junsu pulls away, runs to get the ball and asks, "Want to have a match?"
They have a match, in the empty grass patch near their apartment.
Junsu wins, as expected, and when they lie on the grass panting, Junsu laughs.
"What?" Yoochun says suspiciously, turning his head to look at Junsu.
"I remember the last time we were here, Changminnie slipped and fell."
"And Jaejoong-hyung said that long legs weren't much of a help to prevent you from falling," Yoochun recalls.
"And they started fighting." Junsu says, beaming. "As usual."
They lie in silence after that, the clouds floating above them in the too-blue sky.
"Do you think," Yoochun says. "All five of us will ever be able to come here again?"
Junsu shrugs, his earring catching the Sun's glow and sparkling. "Stop wallowing, Yoochun."
"I'm not wallowing," Yoochun defends himself. "Just wondering."
Junsu says, "You'll be fine without us, I know you will."
Yoochun says, "I know I won't."
Junsu sits up, his head nearly colliding with a bright-yellow butterfly. He looks down at Yoochun, and says, "You will."
"I don't think I can do this." Yoochun closes his eyes, his voice shaking audibly. His heart feels like it's shrivelling up, and he wonders if it's scientifically possible to feel your heart breaking, because he thinks he can.
A tear slips out of the corner of his eye, and Junsu's answering touch is as light as the wind.
Junsu begs for ice cream at eleven forty-two.
"Then go and get it yourself." Yoochun says, annoyed.
"There's none left in the fridge, dumbass."
"Then go out and buy some."
"Do you think I can?" Junsu gives him a look.
Yoochun throws his pillow at Junsu and goes downstairs.
The mini-mart is empty, and Yoochun grabs a carton of strawbery ice cream, Junsu's favourite flavour.
When he goes to pay, the cashier gives him a tiny smile and asks, "Are you Yoochun-oppa?"
Yoochun nods, accepting his change from the girl.
"Fighting!" She says, and Yoochun walks out with a polite nod.
The apartment is strangely quiet when he gets back, and a note is sitting on their coffee table.
"Yoochunnie, fighting! We love you!" It says, in Junsu's familiar handwriting.
Yoochun sits on the floor for twelve minutes before he realises that the ice cream is melting.
He opens the refrigerator, and sets the carton he just bought with another three tubs of ice cream.
"Stupid dumbass liar," Yoochun says to the air, and this time when he cries, there isn't Junsu to wipe away his tears anymore.
TO BE CONTINUED.......(NEXT IS CHANGMIN N FINAL PART)
Credits:www.aeriagames.com
Fanfic by Yomi Asoda
I'm so happy~ We broke that "nowplaying curse" =p ~
